Last Saturday night, something woke up in me. It wasn’t my four year old (for once), or a candle idea at 2am, or even the barking dishwasher. It was the part of me that used to live for a good cocktail, a dance, and belly laughs with the girls.
We dressed up, curled our hair, and headed into the city for dinner and drinks- and it reminded me how much I’ve missed her. The version of me who once thrived on late nights, loud music, and that warm glow of female friendship. It’s not that I don’t love being a mother or a homemaker (gosh, I do), but it’s easy to lose that lighthearted self beneath the laundry piles, late night feeds, and business to do lists. That night brought her back, just for a moment - and I realised I want her to stay a little longer this time.
By Monday morning, the high had passed and the crash came hard. I’ve spoken about burnout before, but this week it’s felt like being steamrolled with a smile still painted on.
This weekend marks my biggest floral and candle event to date (and I am proud of it - so deeply proud). There’s also the launch of my products at a new stockist, which has been a dream in the making. But alongside those beautiful milestones have been 4am wakeups with Ollie, school holiday chaos, a terrifying dash to the emergency room, and, of course, the dishwasher deciding to go out in dramatic fashion.
I’m exhausted. Bone tired. And yet I keep going - because I love what I do, because it matters, because it’s mine. But I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t running on fumes.
Being your own boss is beautiful, but it also means there’s no off switch. No sick leave. No calling in backup. And when you're also a full-time mama, homemaker, and the family cook/cleaner/wizard of all the things… well, you get the idea.
This is your gentle reminder (and mine): even beautiful things can be heavy to carry.
Amongst the chaos, I found a little slice of joy on Sunday morning at the farmers market - a big bag of fresh chestnuts. Something about their rustic charm felt comforting, old-world, grounding. So I’ve been cooking with them all week, and it’s brought such a quiet sense of contentment.
My favourite so far? A Chestnut & Mushroom Shepherd’s Pie - rich, earthy, hearty, and perfect for these midwinter nights. It’s the kind of meal that hugs you back.
Chestnut & Mushroom Shepherd’s Pie
(Serves 4-6)
Ingredients:
1 tbsp olive oil
1 brown onion, finely chopped
2 garlic cloves, minced
300g mushrooms, roughly chopped
1 carrot, diced
2 celery sticks, diced
1 tbsp fresh thyme leaves
1 tbsp tomato paste
1 tbsp Worcestershire sauce
200g cooked chestnuts, roughly chopped
1 tbsp flour
1.5 cups veggie or chicken stock
Salt & pepper, to taste
For the mash topping:
800g potatoes, peeled & chopped
1 tbsp butter
1/4 cup milk
Salt & cracked pepper
Method:
1. Preheat oven to 180°C (fan forced).
2. Boil potatoes until soft, then mash with butter and milk. Set aside.
3. In a large frying pan, heat oil and sauté onion and garlic until softened. Add mushrooms, carrot, and celery. Cook for 10 minutes.
4. Stir in thyme, tomato paste, Worcestershire sauce, and chestnuts. Cook for 2 minutes.
5. Sprinkle in flour and stir through, then pour in stock. Simmer for 10 minutes until thickened.
6. Spoon mixture into a baking dish, top with mashed potato, and bake for 25–30 minutes until golden.
7. Serve with a glass of red wine, your coziest socks, and a moment of peace.
So that’s been my week - a cocktail of connection, chaos, and chestnuts. It’s a messy kind of magic. The kind that reminds me to lean into the sisterhood when I need joy, to rest when I feel the overwhelm creeping in, and to find grounding in small rituals, like peeling chestnuts or watching my son laugh in the winter garden.
If you’re walking through a similar season - juggling joy and exhaustion in equal measure - please know you’re not alone.
With love and wildflowers,
Kels x